Squallowing – From a Very Cheap Kayak Seat

“You’re doing it all wrong!”

A few ill-chosen words, coming from a self-important kayak instructor – burned into a participant at a kayak symposium this past year. The new paddler was trying to get it right – trying to understand a new way of paddling. She was just finishing a skill development clinic – yet the only thing developed was the notion that this kayak teacher was indeed an odd one.

What I find sad is that this new paddler was coming from a lifetime of wilderness canoe travel in Canada’s north. She was excited to try a new craft – and last time she checked – both canoe and kayak have two pointy ends and a middle. How is it that she got it ‘all wrong’?

Seems her vertical paddle style, offended the sensibilities of her instructor. So where are we going wrong and why on earth would someone stifle learning like that. The answer to the first part – in my opinion, lies in the nonsensical notion that there’s a right and wrong way to paddle. The answer to the second part can be summed up by that tired old joke; “What is the difference between God and a kayak instructor?” God knows he’s not a kayak instructor! Of course there are more efficient ways than others to propel forward. For many paddlers a forward stroke using a less-than-vertical paddle encourages easier trunk rotation along with a more solid brace in rough water. But top kayakers with paddle straight up and down – engaging lower abs and crunching into a high cadence racing stroke have blown the doors off many pretenders over the years. It’s all a matter of how you use what your momma gave you.

The very best we can do is celebrate those choosing to venture on the water with us. Coach efficiency with a healthy dose of humility – remembering it really is ‘just paddling’ and other ways may be quite fine and possibly better. And big whoop-dee-doo if someone doesn’t paddle the way you think they ought to. If they aren’t hurting anyone and still get to camp for coffee along with the rest then does it really matter?

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